If it's love..goes out to you.

While everybody else is getting out of bed
I'm usually getting in it, I'm not in it to win it
And there's a thousand ways you can skin it

My feet have been on the floor flat like an idle singer
Remember winger, I digress
I confess you are the best thing in my life

But I'm afraid when I hear stories about a husband and wife
There's no happy endings, no Henry Lee
But you are the greatest thing about me

If it's love
And we decide that it's forever
No one else could do it better

If it's love
And we're two birds of a feather
Then the rest is just whenever

And if I'm addicted to loving you
And you're addicted to my love too
We can be them two birds of a feather that flock together

Love, love
Got to have something to keep us together
Love, love
That's enough for me

Took a loan on a house I own
Can't be a queen bee without a bee throne
I wanna buy you everything except cologne 'cause it's poison

We can travel to Spain where the rain falls
Mainly on the plain side and sing
'Cause it is we can laugh, we can sing
Have ten kids and give them everything

Hold our cell phones up in the air
And just be glad that we made it here alive
[- From :http://www.elyrics.net/read/t/train-lyrics/if-it_s-love-lyrics.html -]
On a spinning ball in the middle of space
I love you from your toes to your face

If it's love
And we decide that it's forever
No one else could do it better

If it's love
And we're two birds of a feather
Then the rest is just whenever

And if I'm addicted to loving you
And you're addicted to my love too
We can be them two birds of a feather that flock together

Love, love
Got to have something to keep us together
Love, love
That's enough for me

You can move in, I won't ask where you've been
'Cause everybody has a past
When we're older we'll do it all over again

When everybody else is getting out of bed
I'm usually getting in it, I'm not in it to win it
I'm in it for you

If it's love
And we're two birds of a feather
Then the rest is just whenever
Then the rest is just whenever

If it's love
And we decide that it's forever
No one else could do it better

And if I'm addicted to loving you
And you're addicted to my love too
We can be them two birds of a feather that flock together

Love, love
Got to have something to keep us together
Love, love
Got to have something to keep us together
Love, love
That's enough for me

i'm missing someone invisible to my life.

Don't have much to say right now. But i'm just missing you so bad. really bad. I know maybe you've moved on...happy with your life. But im here still missing you...My mood keeps changing every now and then..I cry, i laugh, i get crazy...just to heal the heart that have been broken thousand times. I don't care how worst the situation i am goin thru rite now..i still miss you so much. I look at the sky, lookin at the moon..wish that u could watch me how am I dying slowly here. I feel so lost. I know I have friends that comfort me, but that can't be the same as having you right beside me. I cover my tears in front of them just to show everyone that I'm strong to go through this alone. Cub, I still, still love you..and will always love you. Please take care. I'm afraid to get near you..I'm afraid of being hurt again. I, now...afraid of love...I'm just too tired being hurt from several years ago..I just want you to take care of yourself and be happy there sayang...take care dearest memory...=)

don't make any promises to people your love.

well, enuf with wut u've put me thru..i feel so bad now. why u hav to take for granted with all the love i gave you? why? I gave u too much until u make it worst. U don't appreciate it. I never betray u, never lie to u, i have been staying alone wit u..no one else inside my heart..but u seems take it easy. I take back for wut i've promised you. sorry cuz u've done this too much for me. I can't take it anymore. I can't stay with someone that never be honest with me.

song that always reminds me of you.

I'll always remember
It was late afternoon
It lasted forever
And ended too soon
You were all by yourself
Staring up at a dark gray sky
I was changed

In places no one would find
All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

The moment that I saw you cry

It was late in september
And I've seen you before (and you were)
You were always the cold one
But i was never that sure
You were all by yourself
Staring at a dark gray sky
I was changed

In places no one would find
All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

I wanted to hold you
i wanted to make it go away
I wanted to know you
I wanted to make your everything, all right....

I'll always remember...
It was late afternoon...
In places no one would find...

In places no one would find
All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

hey...

it's been quite few days i haven't been updating my blog..lately ni byk spend time dgn cub n my buddies at s.alam.. humm..skang it's time for me to let my cub free a bit..i can't hold u tight anymore cub..i've to let u free..find sumone else..eventhough it hurts me a bit..im sorry..tonite mmg i saje let u go out wit ur frens and those guys..i just want to let u free..im thinking the best for u cub..good luck cub..i hope ur happy there. chill k.

Best damn lyric!

Picture perfect memories, scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone cause, I can't fight it any more.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
I said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.

Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door.
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
I said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.

I guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
And I said I wouldn't call, but I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.

I just need you now.

Oh baby I need you now.

taktau la nak rasa apa skang..

humm.. sumhow, when i just woke up just now..i feel deep in my heart, so sad..i know..im just a piece of junk memory..things different.just in a blink everythings change. too bad for me. I guess..this will just be some temporary..I have to be far away from this hurtfullness <---(ayat aku sndiri k, xtau wujud ke x) hummm...thank u...

Cheer up man...

I post this song specially for myself..to cheer up my heart..humm..i know things have change..tryin to be happy..that's wut i'm tryin to do..cool mannn....listen to this song my poor lil heart..=) Sunshine - By Gabrielle.

Made a wish, I can dream
I can be what I want to be
Not afraid to live my life
And fulfil my fantasies

I learnt a lot of tricks to help me live my life
You helped me find my paradise
When you came I saw

Sunshine through my window
That's what you are
My shining star
Sunshine
Making me feel like
I'm on top of the world
Telling me I'll go far

Reaching out, for the highs
You inspired me to try
I felt the magic inside
And I felt that I could fly
I'm looking at the world in an optimistic light
You made me appreciate my life
'Cos when you came you were my

Sunshine through my window
That's what you are
My shining star
Sunshine
Making me feel like
I'm on top of the world
Telling me I'll go far

You are the calm
I am the storm
You are the breeze that carries me on
When I said a truth
You wink at me
You're there for me

Sunshine (oh yeah)
That's what you are
My shining star
Sunshine
Making me feel I'm on top of the world
Telling me that I'll go far
Sunshine through my window
That's what you are
My shining star

(Sunshine) Making me feel I'm on top of the world
Telling me that I'll go far
Sunshine through my window
That's what you are
My shining star
Sunshine
Making me feel I'm on top of the world
Telling me that I'll go far
Sunshine
My star, my star..

K-Ci & JoJo - Crazy

(I don't know why, what I'm doing what I'm doing)
See, baby I, apologize
For all the things that I've done that I've done
See I've known that I've been a fool for far too long
And baby you have it, I go around to wait, just come back to papa
Please baby, baby won't you stay
If you really love me then why are you leavin me

I can't think, think about this crazy day
I lose sleep just to daydream about you babyyyyyyyy
I'm going crazy, crazy, crazy, just to thinkin about you lately (crazy baby)
I'm going crazy, crazy, crazy, just to thinkin about you baby (I don't know
what to do)
I'm going crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy, thinkin about you lately (crazy, crazy,
crazy)
I'm going crazy, crazy, (crazy, crazy) when I can't touch you
Crazy, crazy (I'm going crazy) when I can't hold you
Crazy, crazy, (I'm going crazy) when I can't see you again
(Said I'm going crazy)

(Said I'm going crazy)
I've finally realized, that you are my true love
And I had a lot of time to think, and you're all seem to keep thinking,
To keep thinkin of, yeahhh
And now I know I need you each and every day
I can't live without you, so don't run away
Baby you say that you love me, so why'd you leave me, why (why, why, why, why)

I can't think, think about this crazy day
I lose sleep just to daydream about you baby (I'm going crazy)
I'm going crazy, crazy, crazy, just thinkin about you lately (just to think)
I'm going crazy, crazy, crazy, just thinkin about you baby
(I'm goin crazy, I'm going crazy)
I'm going crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy, thinkin about you lately
I'm going crazy, crazy, (crazy, crazy)when i can't touch you (I'm going crazy)
Crazy, crazy (crazy, crazy), when I can't hold you
Crazy, crazy, when I can see again (if I can see you, if I can see you if I can
see you, if I can see you)
If I can see you, if I can see you again
Then I would go, if I could see you again
I'd go craeeae

wut do I feel now.

yeah. wut do I feel now?? I feel so like in heaven..life u know..there's up n down. this time i feel like in heaven. heaven of love. these back days i've been quite out-of-my-mind things. I've like a psycho, mad at alot of things. madness was around me. outrageous things that got me mad. I've been in denial of the truth that i heard. yeah. I was crazy. I was. I was even like to kill someone seriously. Playing some bad ass game with this person. we keep fighting and cursing to each other like every day. I knew u never like me being like this. im sorry for the madness thing that got me. I just couldn't accept the truth. im sorry. and now i've promised u that all of these shits have over. yeah. I repent. I dun want to get u worried of wut would i do to ur life or us. I won't make u worry anymore cub. I'll be a nice person the old nahar that u used to be with. im sorry for wut i have done. from now on i promise you, that i'll never do anything that scare you, worry you or get u mad. I'll try to erase bit by bit all the scary past that keep haunting me. I have stopped from wut i've been doing for the last few weeks..(which being a psycho stalker). hahahaha..(ok that's not funny nahar). Im sorry cub. I love you with all my heart. I always pray that u would find someone good to you. [which that is not a hot-tempered person, stingy or wutsoever that brings to the bad side]. hope that u would find someone that really love you like i do, and take care of you and your beloved mom.(i know u love ur mom so much) i always pray all the best for you. love you luv.

Back to the zero?

humm...well feel like ages i haven't been updating my blog. feels like the days and times fly so fast. I didn't realize this at all. things change a lot. and so do i. I dunno how to describe what I've been feeling this lately. but wut i know..the feeling of insecure,untrusted and so on etc. I tried to be back to the zero where I can pull out all myself to be the better one like those days..but it seems like the root from this heart can't be soften. I guess I've lost everything deep inside of my heart. The trust, the security, the sharing and caring stuff..the only thing that left in my heart, is the pure love that i have towards this sumone who i've been adore for about 2 years. Gosh! I hate this. I just don't want things change to the worst. I never ever wish this to happen. but I just can't help myself..i couldn't help myself to gain this trust from this particular person. I just can't simply ask for it. it's hard being fooled for almost 2 years. yeah! im not gonna say this like thousands times, but this is wut i've gone thru. maybe i should just wait for the time where this relationship should be end. I'll never ever leave u cub even how mad am i..even how worst the fight we've gone thru..i've said this thousands times. believe me. dah la....merepek jauh aku ni...anyways, just wait and see another few months wut will happen. Me as the second person in myself will play a role where I will just sit and watch this drama. hahahahahahaha! adios!!!

it's been a week...

as days move on slowly..i still keep thinking..wondering..wut is this all about. life is so mess up..wondering how my days..my life would go on..never thought dat this could happen to me..the worst month in my life. how bad it feels to love sumone who really doesn't love u..to be the option of sumone i adore.so much. i was listening to all songs that we used to listen together..play the songs over and over again..thinking bout all the memories we hav gone thru. this is worst. just worst. it's not that easy to move on as i thought..can't believe it u just move on just like that. i dunno if u read this, but just so u know...this is wut i feel..so fuckin terrible. i'm tired of pretending that im happy..tired of tryin to chill myself..tired with everything that full of bullshit..all the things that u've put me thru.. i just hope..i could take this heart out and throw it far far far away..

the big day!

today i had my sister's wut we called it as "nikah"..in english,it used to be called sumkind like wedding la..but this is a bit formal between god and the couple..it's more kinda like to religious..the malaysian wedding a.k.a reception, will be held in next week. I just can't believe it that now she's a mistress.. hahahahaha! dah bpunye org tua ni..huhuhu. congratulations tako. i lovvvee u so much sis! huaawaarghhhhh rindu giler! (ceh baru jumpe td dah rindu..bukannya anta dia pi medan perang pun). hahahaha! but that's me. seorang yg penyedih. luar je nampak ganas. tp aku ni hati manyak taman wooooo..hihihi. that's wut i got it from my dad. he's a sensitive man. cepat kluaq ayaq mata..hahaha. alhamdulillah dgn skali lafaz je dah sah. yg klakarnye..tako kata, dia x sempat nak nervous or kluar air mata pun dah tetibe sah! kitorang pun yg duk concentrate tgk betul2 wali dgn pengantin laki lafaz,mcm terkejut. ingatkan tu dorang practice. yela br first try baca akad, xkn xda practice. woww! amazing! hahahaha... so upacara dah slesai. now sarung menyarung lak cincin..ok the rest why not tgk je gmbr2.. malas aku nak bercerite panjang. korang la pandai2 interpret kan gmbr2 tu k.

hummmm....speechless.

Life is so speechless. My life has been a bit miserable these days. and I knew it. This bad tragedy will happen again to me sooner or later. Im just so sad. It feels so bad to stay like this. Oh dear Allah..please make my heart strong. Please let me face this with easier way. I just can't stand being like this. I just wanna give up, but i'm not ready. But then it's useless to keep waiting and waiting. Im so fuckin miserable. Im in dilemma. Im afraid. I really dun hav the guts. i wish i could have such a big heart and strong. Im facing this alone. why do u have to keep putting this burden to me? why? such a nitemare to me. this always be my nitemare. i think i can't take this anymore. Im hopeless. give up. eventhough i dun hav the guts, but i have to. hummmmm......until now i just let the time decides it. bye..

Dedicate this to my only one.

I can't sleep,
everything i ever knew,
Is a lie,
without you,

I can't breathe,
when my heart is broke in two,
There's no beat,
without you,

You're not gone,
but you're not here,
At least that's the way it seems tonight,
If we could try to end these wars,
I know that we can make it right,
cause baby,

I don't wanna fight no more,
I forgot what we were fighting for,
and this lonelyness that's in my heart,
won't let me be apart from you,

I don't wanna have to try,
to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more,

How can I leave,
when everything that I adore,
and everything I'm living for,
it's in you,

I can't dream,
sleepless nights have got me bad,
The only dream i ever had,
is being with you,

I know that we can make it right,
It's gonna take a little time,
Lets not leave ourselves with no way out,
lets not cross that line,(that line)

I don't wanna fight no more,
I forgot what we were fighting for,
and this lonelyness that's in my heart,
won't let me be apart from you,

I don't wanna have to try,
to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more,

Remember that i made a vow,
that i would never let you go,
I meant it then, I mean it now,
and i want to tell you so,

I don't wanna fight no more, (oh no)
I forgot what we were fighting for,
and this lonelyness that's in my heart,
won't let me be apart from you,

I don't wanna have to try,
to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
(can we start)
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more...

I don't wanna fight no more,
I forgot what we were fighting for, (oh yeah)
and this lonelyness that's in my heart,
(my heart)
won't let me be apart from you,

I don't wanna have to try,
to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
(I'm hoping)
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more.......

It's all a lie,
Without you,
without you......

It's over already. i'm sorry.....

phewww wut a hectic day!

hahahahahahahhaaaa! amik kau! last2 minute prepare everything..mcm nak x nak je register. bongok tol. Demmit! kelam-kabut kumpul sume sijil2 and document penting yg perlu di fotostat dgn gambar passport x buat lg.bijak giler! hahahaha...dah la menunggu giliran lama nak mati. nak terberak aku kat situ. anyway, the new campus is soooo amazing! giler best! hahahaha! gempak! aku duk ushar students kat situ..freshie yg ada sume style mcm nak pi clubbin..ada few je bpakaian cam nak blajar. tau la private instution, kot ye pun xyah le bermini skirt dgn legging nye lg..mak aih! dr kampung mana la nih...hahahahah! geli hati tgk. yg lelaki lak..kalo ada snow, mmg rasanye sesuai kot bpakaian dgn snow cap dgn jacket..masalahnye tgh hari bute pakai mcm nak pi LONDON! ahahahaha. ape la budak2 ni..pakai sempoi sudah...bukannye depa nak pi tayang atas pentas ada show ke ape..senget! ni lah keje aku menunggu giliran yg agak lembab. sampai sempatlah jemput at n kawan dia..pastu dtg blk..fhewww..apa yg lg menarik! aku ada balance rm810! wowwww! giler best! i thought fee dia seribu lebih. ahhahahaha! xpe2..jgn buat duit tu bukan2 xbaik..(paaadahhaaaalllllll dah beli hp sebijik). huahuahuahuahuaaaaa! astaghfirullahhhimmm...byk ngucap jap. (dasar anak x gune gak aku ni)..<---baru tersedar.

anyway, esok aku dah start orientation..mak aih! penat la babe! dr kul 8.30 pg dah kena kumpul. mati la cenggini..sampai la sabtu, br abis orientation..tp sabtu aku dikecualikan...(kakak aku nak nikah, dah la sekoq adik dia x pat mai..kang kalo aku x dtg..mau melalak org tua tu)..hahahhaa....
oklah.tu je aku nak merepek arini. dah penat n pening pk mcm2 masalah dunia..haihhhh. chow!

Register degree MSU

hey new campus! here i come! hahahahhaa.... today im gonna register my bachelor here. ahh sucks..bored. that means i have to face with tonnes of books, assignments,test and exams AGAIN. adoiiii.. but anyway it's okay..at least i've sumthing to do in life. (xde la jd org dungu lg tau menunggu bnda yg x kan dtg) hahahahah! hummm....

I know..i haven't wish ur bday since last nite..ahh malas! for wut?? dapat hadiah tgu je. that's my wish. sudah. settle. im thinking of getting away from this. it still hurts. it does.

Anyway nahar. Welcome Junior to MSU! hahahhaha.. aku jd junior blk la! sukeeenyeee..huahuahauhauhauhaua! chow!

never let you go??

They say that hate has been sent
So let loose the talk of love
Before they outlaw the kiss
Baby give me one last hug

There's a dream
That I've been chasing
Want so badly for it to be reality
(Reality, reality)
And when you hold my hand
Then I understand
That it's meant to be

Cuz baby when you're with me
It's like an angel came by, and took my to heaven
(It's like you took me to heaven girl)
Cuz when I stare in your eyes
It couldnt be better
(I don't want you to go oh no sooo)So let the music it blast
We gon' do our dance
Praise the doubters on
They don't matter at all
Cuz this lifes to long
And this love's to strong
So baby know for sho'
That I'll never let you go.

I still remember the first time i let u heard this song. U like it. (glad that u like it). mybe i can never let u go..but that's just a word. I should let u go. it's time..ahhh serabutnye! i dunno wut the heck i should've been doing. but this is wut im thinking. cuz sooner or later...u'll hurt me again..and then u'll keep going hurting me..then again..and again..until the cuts in my heart become a big hole.. org kate..kalo skali dua xpe lg..tp kalo dah slalu..aihh lemak ah.siapa bleh tahan..im not an angel who could only let myself be treated like this..this is all because a LOVE that could make me stay this longer. but dear...promise me..wuteva u've done to me..or will do..i always forgive u..there's never a grudge that i keep in this pure heart.(cehh pure ke??). hummmm..aku dgn kisah cinta ni mmg agak cilakak skit..(cop. bukan skit byk kot.) senang citer ko mmg malang la nahar..aihh x tau nak describe camna lg..mybe i just fell for the wrong one. hummmm..xpe,xpe..mybe that's just an obstacle for me. mybe god just wanna test me how patience am i..i hope i could take this pain so far..hummm..xtau dah nak merepek apa lg..terjaga tgh mlm..ni la keje aku..xde keje lain..report practicum x siap2..tp bnda ni ko bleh eh..adoiiii..k, lah! chow! (plan nak tido blk lepas ni..) boleh xxx???? ahhahahahahaha!!!!!

suck it up!

Fucker. aku sayang seseorang yg selalu hurt aku. FUck. Aku setia kat seseorang yg selalu kluar dgn org lain..fuck around wit sumone else... aku sentiasa menunggu sumone yg slalu buat aku mcm anjing. aku sentiasa syg kat seseorang yg mmg slalu tipu aku.... kenapa hidup aku kena mcm ni. apa ni ke semua balasan yg aku dapat after about a year and a half being loyal..ni ke balasan aku dapat???? teruk giler hidup aku. hidup aku hancur..hancur menunggu menyayangi sesorang yg buat aku sebagai pilihan hidup dia bile dia susah atau sedih.. dah stahun lebih aku sabar...aku tunggu...setiap kali dia tipu aku..dia buat aku mcm anjing..mmg aku marah..aku naik angin..almost give up..but then..aku xtau knape sampai skang aku still jd mcm org dungu mcm dah kena santau...
hummm..i just hope that one day that person will realize apa sbenarnye dia dah buat kat aku slama ni. hummm..aku tau kalo dia sedar pun..dia xkn ubah apa2..mybe dia lg slesa hidup mcm ni..hurt aku sampai aku mati kot..

blah blah blah..here I am again.

ok this is boring. it's already 6 morning. I woke up early, and it's sad knowing that i'm in a life that full of sorrow.. I just dunno wut on earth have i been doing. It's a useless life. No one knows how sorrow it is my life. I could fake a smile. I could fake a laugh. Yeah, that's my professionalism. But i do admit when sumthing or someone really make me in rage, I could explode on the spot. I'm so sorry to people surrounding me. Sometimes i never mean to show my anger in front of people, but I could not bear it. ok...dah jauh sgt aku merepek ni..i should get back to sleep lah. nyte!

I always try to be your hero, but I know I can never be.

(Whispered) Let me be your hero

Would you dance if I asked you to dance?
Would you run and never look back
Would you cry if you saw me crying
Would you save my soul tonight?

Would you tremble if I touched your lips?
Would you laugh oh please tell me these
Now would you die for the one you love?
Hold me in your arms tonight?

(Chorus)
I can be you hero baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away

Would you swear that you'll always be mine?
Would you lie would you run away
Am I in to deep?
Have I lost my mind?
I don't care you're here tonight

Chorus

I just want to hold you (2x)
Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
Well I don't care you're here tonight

Chorus (2x)

You can take my breath my breath away
I can be your hero