Saturday, May 22, 2010

the big day!

today i had my sister's wut we called it as "nikah"..in english,it used to be called sumkind like wedding la..but this is a bit formal between god and the couple..it's more kinda like to religious..the malaysian wedding a.k.a reception, will be held in next week. I just can't believe it that now she's a mistress.. hahahahaha! dah bpunye org tua ni..huhuhu. congratulations tako. i lovvvee u so much sis! huaawaarghhhhh rindu giler! (ceh baru jumpe td dah rindu..bukannya anta dia pi medan perang pun). hahahaha! but that's me. seorang yg penyedih. luar je nampak ganas. tp aku ni hati manyak taman wooooo..hihihi. that's wut i got it from my dad. he's a sensitive man. cepat kluaq ayaq mata..hahaha. alhamdulillah dgn skali lafaz je dah sah. yg klakarnye..tako kata, dia x sempat nak nervous or kluar air mata pun dah tetibe sah! kitorang pun yg duk concentrate tgk betul2 wali dgn pengantin laki lafaz,mcm terkejut. ingatkan tu dorang practice. yela br first try baca akad, xkn xda practice. woww! amazing! hahahaha... so upacara dah slesai. now sarung menyarung lak cincin..ok the rest why not tgk je gmbr2.. malas aku nak bercerite panjang. korang la pandai2 interpret kan gmbr2 tu k.









Tuesday, May 18, 2010

hummmm....speechless.

Life is so speechless. My life has been a bit miserable these days. and I knew it. This bad tragedy will happen again to me sooner or later. Im just so sad. It feels so bad to stay like this. Oh dear Allah..please make my heart strong. Please let me face this with easier way. I just can't stand being like this. I just wanna give up, but i'm not ready. But then it's useless to keep waiting and waiting. Im so fuckin miserable. Im in dilemma. Im afraid. I really dun hav the guts. i wish i could have such a big heart and strong. Im facing this alone. why do u have to keep putting this burden to me? why? such a nitemare to me. this always be my nitemare. i think i can't take this anymore. Im hopeless. give up. eventhough i dun hav the guts, but i have to. hummmmm......until now i just let the time decides it. bye..

Monday, May 17, 2010

Dedicate this to my only one.

I can't sleep,
everything i ever knew,
Is a lie,
without you,

I can't breathe,
when my heart is broke in two,
There's no beat,
without you,

You're not gone,
but you're not here,
At least that's the way it seems tonight,
If we could try to end these wars,
I know that we can make it right,
cause baby,

I don't wanna fight no more,
I forgot what we were fighting for,
and this lonelyness that's in my heart,
won't let me be apart from you,

I don't wanna have to try,
to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more,

How can I leave,
when everything that I adore,
and everything I'm living for,
it's in you,

I can't dream,
sleepless nights have got me bad,
The only dream i ever had,
is being with you,

I know that we can make it right,
It's gonna take a little time,
Lets not leave ourselves with no way out,
lets not cross that line,(that line)

I don't wanna fight no more,
I forgot what we were fighting for,
and this lonelyness that's in my heart,
won't let me be apart from you,

I don't wanna have to try,
to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more,

Remember that i made a vow,
that i would never let you go,
I meant it then, I mean it now,
and i want to tell you so,

I don't wanna fight no more, (oh no)
I forgot what we were fighting for,
and this lonelyness that's in my heart,
won't let me be apart from you,

I don't wanna have to try,
to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
(can we start)
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more...

I don't wanna fight no more,
I forgot what we were fighting for, (oh yeah)
and this lonelyness that's in my heart,
(my heart)
won't let me be apart from you,

I don't wanna have to try,
to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
(I'm hoping)
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more.......

It's all a lie,
Without you,
without you......

It's over already. i'm sorry.....

phewww wut a hectic day!

hahahahahahahhaaaa! amik kau! last2 minute prepare everything..mcm nak x nak je register. bongok tol. Demmit! kelam-kabut kumpul sume sijil2 and document penting yg perlu di fotostat dgn gambar passport x buat lg.bijak giler! hahahaha...dah la menunggu giliran lama nak mati. nak terberak aku kat situ. anyway, the new campus is soooo amazing! giler best! hahahaha! gempak! aku duk ushar students kat situ..freshie yg ada sume style mcm nak pi clubbin..ada few je bpakaian cam nak blajar. tau la private instution, kot ye pun xyah le bermini skirt dgn legging nye lg..mak aih! dr kampung mana la nih...hahahahah! geli hati tgk. yg lelaki lak..kalo ada snow, mmg rasanye sesuai kot bpakaian dgn snow cap dgn jacket..masalahnye tgh hari bute pakai mcm nak pi LONDON! ahahahaha. ape la budak2 ni..pakai sempoi sudah...bukannye depa nak pi tayang atas pentas ada show ke ape..senget! ni lah keje aku menunggu giliran yg agak lembab. sampai sempatlah jemput at n kawan dia..pastu dtg blk..fhewww..apa yg lg menarik! aku ada balance rm810! wowwww! giler best! i thought fee dia seribu lebih. ahhahahaha! xpe2..jgn buat duit tu bukan2 xbaik..(paaadahhaaaalllllll dah beli hp sebijik). huahuahuahuahuaaaaa! astaghfirullahhhimmm...byk ngucap jap. (dasar anak x gune gak aku ni)..<---baru tersedar.

anyway, esok aku dah start orientation..mak aih! penat la babe! dr kul 8.30 pg dah kena kumpul. mati la cenggini..sampai la sabtu, br abis orientation..tp sabtu aku dikecualikan...(kakak aku nak nikah, dah la sekoq adik dia x pat mai..kang kalo aku x dtg..mau melalak org tua tu)..hahahhaa....
oklah.tu je aku nak merepek arini. dah penat n pening pk mcm2 masalah dunia..haihhhh. chow!

Register degree MSU

hey new campus! here i come! hahahahhaa.... today im gonna register my bachelor here. ahh sucks..bored. that means i have to face with tonnes of books, assignments,test and exams AGAIN. adoiiii.. but anyway it's okay..at least i've sumthing to do in life. (xde la jd org dungu lg tau menunggu bnda yg x kan dtg) hahahahah! hummm....

I know..i haven't wish ur bday since last nite..ahh malas! for wut?? dapat hadiah tgu je. that's my wish. sudah. settle. im thinking of getting away from this. it still hurts. it does.

Anyway nahar. Welcome Junior to MSU! hahahhaha.. aku jd junior blk la! sukeeenyeee..huahuahauhauhauhaua! chow!

never let you go??

They say that hate has been sent
So let loose the talk of love
Before they outlaw the kiss
Baby give me one last hug

There's a dream
That I've been chasing
Want so badly for it to be reality
(Reality, reality)
And when you hold my hand
Then I understand
That it's meant to be

Cuz baby when you're with me
It's like an angel came by, and took my to heaven
(It's like you took me to heaven girl)
Cuz when I stare in your eyes
It couldnt be better
(I don't want you to go oh no sooo)So let the music it blast
We gon' do our dance
Praise the doubters on
They don't matter at all
Cuz this lifes to long
And this love's to strong
So baby know for sho'
That I'll never let you go.

I still remember the first time i let u heard this song. U like it. (glad that u like it). mybe i can never let u go..but that's just a word. I should let u go. it's time..ahhh serabutnye! i dunno wut the heck i should've been doing. but this is wut im thinking. cuz sooner or later...u'll hurt me again..and then u'll keep going hurting me..then again..and again..until the cuts in my heart become a big hole.. org kate..kalo skali dua xpe lg..tp kalo dah slalu..aihh lemak ah.siapa bleh tahan..im not an angel who could only let myself be treated like this..this is all because a LOVE that could make me stay this longer. but dear...promise me..wuteva u've done to me..or will do..i always forgive u..there's never a grudge that i keep in this pure heart.(cehh pure ke??). hummmm..aku dgn kisah cinta ni mmg agak cilakak skit..(cop. bukan skit byk kot.) senang citer ko mmg malang la nahar..aihh x tau nak describe camna lg..mybe i just fell for the wrong one. hummmm..xpe,xpe..mybe that's just an obstacle for me. mybe god just wanna test me how patience am i..i hope i could take this pain so far..hummm..xtau dah nak merepek apa lg..terjaga tgh mlm..ni la keje aku..xde keje lain..report practicum x siap2..tp bnda ni ko bleh eh..adoiiii..k, lah! chow! (plan nak tido blk lepas ni..) boleh xxx???? ahhahahahahaha!!!!!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

suck it up!

Fucker. aku sayang seseorang yg selalu hurt aku. FUck. Aku setia kat seseorang yg selalu kluar dgn org lain..fuck around wit sumone else... aku sentiasa menunggu sumone yg slalu buat aku mcm anjing. aku sentiasa syg kat seseorang yg mmg slalu tipu aku.... kenapa hidup aku kena mcm ni. apa ni ke semua balasan yg aku dapat after about a year and a half being loyal..ni ke balasan aku dapat???? teruk giler hidup aku. hidup aku hancur..hancur menunggu menyayangi sesorang yg buat aku sebagai pilihan hidup dia bile dia susah atau sedih.. dah stahun lebih aku sabar...aku tunggu...setiap kali dia tipu aku..dia buat aku mcm anjing..mmg aku marah..aku naik angin..almost give up..but then..aku xtau knape sampai skang aku still jd mcm org dungu mcm dah kena santau...
hummm..i just hope that one day that person will realize apa sbenarnye dia dah buat kat aku slama ni. hummm..aku tau kalo dia sedar pun..dia xkn ubah apa2..mybe dia lg slesa hidup mcm ni..hurt aku sampai aku mati kot..