Back to the zero?

humm...well feel like ages i haven't been updating my blog. feels like the days and times fly so fast. I didn't realize this at all. things change a lot. and so do i. I dunno how to describe what I've been feeling this lately. but wut i know..the feeling of insecure,untrusted and so on etc. I tried to be back to the zero where I can pull out all myself to be the better one like those days..but it seems like the root from this heart can't be soften. I guess I've lost everything deep inside of my heart. The trust, the security, the sharing and caring stuff..the only thing that left in my heart, is the pure love that i have towards this sumone who i've been adore for about 2 years. Gosh! I hate this. I just don't want things change to the worst. I never ever wish this to happen. but I just can't help myself..i couldn't help myself to gain this trust from this particular person. I just can't simply ask for it. it's hard being fooled for almost 2 years. yeah! im not gonna say this like thousands times, but this is wut i've gone thru. maybe i should just wait for the time where this relationship should be end. I'll never ever leave u cub even how mad am i..even how worst the fight we've gone thru..i've said this thousands times. believe me. dah la....merepek jauh aku ni...anyways, just wait and see another few months wut will happen. Me as the second person in myself will play a role where I will just sit and watch this drama. hahahahahahaha! adios!!!